Know When to Hold | jennwhitmer.com

Dec 10, 2019

Know When to Hold

Know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. The gambler or the peacemaker. Jennwhitmer.com conflict resolution communication difficult conversations

Few people love challenging conversations. I mean, there are those people who like the adrenaline rush, but I don’t know anyone who actually likes hard conversations.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Just a quick tip today: A difficult conversation that starts with at the right time is more likely to end in peace.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Two conditions to approach a delicate conversation:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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1) Everyone is fed, rested, and calm.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

There are great self-control benefits available after a snack and a nap.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Seriously,  right before bed or an hour before supper is rarely the best time to have a difficult conversation. Hangry and tired is a bad combo and reduces everyone’s emotional regulation.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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2) The challenge isn’t going on right then.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

When you’re in the middle of the issue is rarely the best time to broach the conversation about the issue. The intensity is too high to find the root of the concern.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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If these aren’t happening, hold those cards, my friend.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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As for fold them? Well, that’s about empathy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Take a moment to consider their perspective. Internal empathy for the other person starts the bridge to mutual understanding. If you’re not ready for that, fold and wait for the next hand.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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Starting a conversation without empathy for the other person rarely leads to peace.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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When is the best time you’ve found to have difficult conversations? When is the worst? Mine is in the comments!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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🎶Thank you, songwriter Don.Schlitz, for 40 years with The Gambler. And _kennyrogers for singing it the best.🎶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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