Sep 13, 2020

When I get nervous, I laugh and speak like I’m keeping up with Lorelai and Rory on the way to Luke’s. Especially when hard conversations come up. It’s hard to tell from the outside, because I’m always been a fast talker. But I know when I’m monologuing. And that wasn’t helping my relationships. I was […]

Sep 1, 2020

I totaled my dad’s car when I was 16—in my own driveway… I  backed the ‘82 Cutlass Supreme a random F250 black truck with an enormous tow hitch that had chosen that moment to turn around in our driveway. What I didn’t use that winter morning? My mirrors. Cost me a lot of time scooping […]

Jul 8, 2020

Shuffling papers, walking from the desk to the kitchen table to the counter, and muttering to myself, I was a whirlwind of activity. More like I was circling the drain. Michael said, “Babe, do one thing at a time.” Didn’t he just diagnose that situation? Have you ever been there, spinning your wheels and going […]

Jul 7, 2020

You talk to yourself all the time. Sometimes, you a little salty, my friend. Much of the time, we just let thoughts sail right into the truth pile without, well, a second thought. But we can grab them. Hold them up for a mini inspection. And then choose to change the thought. In my faith, […]

Jun 30, 2020

People are the best. Until they are the worst. And sometimes, it me. I can be the worst. Each of us can. How we cope with other people is another opportunity to observe ourselves. How do you deal with people in getting your needs met? (See this post on Enneagram Motivations!) Our interpersonal coping style, […]

Jun 24, 2020

Controversial Statement: You can’t find your Enneagram type from a test. 😬 I promise, I have something even better! A free booklet, “Why Do I Keep Doing This?” We all want it simple and easy. Bloop. Bloop. Bloop—you’re this type! Some fantastic personality typing works well like that. They help you find your strengths, preferences, […]

Jun 21, 2020

“Be nice.”  “Don’t make a fuss.” “You’re so bossy.” Ever heard any of these? Uh, yeah. Me, too. Our culture has pushed several limiting beliefs about confrontation—and mostly to women. The message—well, the lie really—is confrontation is mean, aggressive, and not nice. That lie has turned into quite the monster in our culture. Sharon Hodde […]

Jun 14, 2020

Living with unresolved conflict is like trying to tango with a toddler on your leg. Lights keep me awake. I mean, sure I can take a quick nap (boy, do I love naps). I can use a sleep mask, but it’s not quite the same. The kind of sustained rest required for flourishing—who am I […]

Jun 10, 2020

I have seen some frankly stunning non-apologies this week. Words from public figures and people in positions of leadership whose words were characterized by a devastating lack of respect. The basic sentiment of a non-apology from this week: IF  what I said when you were mean to me was mean back, well you were really […]

Jun 7, 2020

I help people live peaceful and whole lives by equipping them with communication and conflict resolution skills. And right now, that work is intense. Because justice and anti-racism work is personal AND systemic. And if you’re new to this work, it often feels completely overwhelming. I’ve found the Enneagram a useful tool in examining my […]

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