Three cousins walk into a bar.An illustration on conflict. A fireball on ice, cucumber soda, silver martini, and sampler app ordered at the counter, the group grabs a table, plunks down their white table number down, and start catching up. After 20 minutes of laughing and talking, they notice their appetizer has not arrived. Silver […]
It’s been a week, friends. It’s been a week. Congressional hearing bombshells, Supreme Court rulings, and a host of other issues have nearly everyone I’ve talked to off-kilter (at best). Today I was having lunch with a new friend at a delicious Mexican place with straws too big for the glasses. I, of course, got […]
Sitting in the theatre seats, I jerked upright when they called my son’s name. The directors awarded my senior the John Philip Sousa award. I honestly thought, there are better players in the band. (Don’t at me. My kid’s good. And other kids are objectively better.) As the teacher described the award, I realized it […]
My heart started racing and my eyes grew larger as the organizers of my TEDx event told us they had to cancel the full event and create a hybrid event. No longer was the full event in person, and the speakers would have to come to Canada to record two weeks before. When’s the last […]
Clutching the phone, my thumb hit call before my nerve evaporated. This conversation would be challenging and vulnerable. My palms were sweaty, & I was scared. My brain knows conflict is an opportunity for growth and connection. My emotions, however, hear air raid sirens.🚨🚨 I don’t dive headlong into conflict. I overlook and move past […]
My week is crazy. Anyone else? (And a thousand hands go up). And next week ain’t looking any better. Deadlines out of my control. Clients changing goals. Studying routines to keep. Big decisions to make. Teenagers to parent. Oh, and it’s December… As you may have discovered in your life, when the margin is decreasing […]
We all deal with people. Unless you’re a hermit, which then you’re not reading this…so I’ll assume you’re dealing with people! Another opportunity to pay attention to what you pay attention to is how you deal with people in meeting your needs. (See the last post if you missed self-awareness, the Enneagram, and Centers of […]
Conflicts come up when my normal competes with your normal. Sure on the surface, it’s about meeting a deadline or leaving the office coffee pot empty. Underneath are expectations that come from our understanding of normal. Our personal culture—our perspectives, feelings, values, thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, actions—is our normal. Our personal cultures are not right or […]
Everyone in the drama triangle is headed in the wrong direction. Here’s how this often goes down: Jane, the villain, does something that annoys Stan, the victim. Stan stews a little on his annoyance. Stan talks to his co-worker Sylvia about Jane. Sylvia, the hero, goes to Jane and tells her to stop annoying Stan. […]
Communication is about creating shared meaning. When the same word holds different meanings, miscommunication always occurs. The dictionary definition is only the beginning of meaning. Nuance and context for words come from cultural influences, past experiences, and personal triggers. When people come together to work on a team, it is the role of the leader […]
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