My heart started racing and my eyes grew larger as the organizers of my TEDx event told us they had to cancel the full event and create a hybrid event. No longer was the full event in person, and the speakers would have to come to Canada to record two weeks before.
When’s the last time you received news that upset your plans and crushed your dreams? Touched your dreams? Threatened your work?
I’d been working toward this for years. I had already rearranged my life (and a few others’ lives!), and now I might not be able to go.
To salvage this dream, I needed clarity. I need to clearly understand the expectations and communicate my needs as well. I reminded myself that I know how to use communication skills to clarify. I’ve spent years developing the skills and teaching others.
My shoulders relaxed and my heart slowed because of my confidence in those communication skills.
What if you knew you could clearly communicate through difficulty? How does confidence feel for you?
Here is the five-part framework that helped me negotiate a much better plan that was a win for all of us.
Five steps to getting communication clear:
1. Know what you want at the end. I’m not asking you to control the future (because, yeah…no) I am asking you to dream a little and paint what you want the end to look like. What do you want to feel at the end? What would be a great outcome for everyone?
2. Ask, “What can I do to help get there?” Take a minute to reflect: Are you pushing your way through? Are you not giving all the information? Are you avoiding asking for what you want? Are you willing to give up something? Are you willing to try something new? What contributions can you make to help you get to that desired outcome?
3. Write it in a tweet. Ok, not actually on Twitter, but if you can’t explain it in 280 characters, you’re not clear yet.
4. Start with an invitation and permission. I’d like to tell you about BLANK. Would that be ok with you? It’s amazing what permission does to get a conversation on the right foot.
5. Ask more questions. You’re clear on what you want, but you need to dig a little to get to what they want. Ask questions until you get to the real real…what’s at the heart of the matter.
Bonus TIP: Prepare. If you have the time, stand up and say it to yourself out loud first. In the bathroom, on a walk, in your office. Saying it out loud gets it into your body…so when you get to the real moment, you’ve already felt success saying it before.
These steps will create clear communication you need and the confidence you want.
Ready to increase your connection and effectiveness with all your people…from your boss to your crazy cousin? Get to work.
What would it feel like to you to make this happen? Comment below and let me know!
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