Oct 29, 2019
Many of us—especially women—have learned some limiting beliefs about confrontation. The lie is that confrontation is mean, aggressive, and not nice. That lie has turned into quite the monster in our culture. Sharon Hodde Miller, in her book Nice, records Dr. Christina Edmonson saying, “We are wooed by superficial niceness.” That superficial niceness limits our […]
Oct 24, 2019
Y’all this is a thing. We rarely see the hours of rehearsal, the days of study, the crumpled papers in the bin, the erased equations, the failed experiment, the burnt roast, the missed communication, the lackluster meeting. We see the book, the Ted Talk, the election, the promotion press release, the graduation, the lovely supper, […]
Oct 23, 2019
Peacefaking doesn’t resolve a conflict. Imperfect people, all seeing the world differently, try to make their way in the world together…well, conflict happens. Some of you see conflict coming, and you are Audi 5000. Some of you are just as conflict-avoidant, and you may say: “Oh, I never fight with people.” “I just turn the […]
Oct 22, 2019
I read a stunning — and harmful — non-apology this weekend. A public figure had a public exchange with another public figure. A devastating lack of respect characterized the entire thread. Two days later, one person offered a new attack poorly disguised as an apology. Not surprisingly, the Greek chorus of those who witnessed the […]
Oct 15, 2019
Conflict is unavoidable. You might think you can just shuffle-ball-change around it, but you will only tap dance yourself to another side of the same stage. Our solution to the inevitable times of conflict is gaining skills to manage through difficult situations. Leaders learn to use that situation as an opportunity to build trust, strengthen […]
Oct 13, 2019
Have you ever experienced a nurse asking, “How would you rate your pain?” I’m always fascinated by the answers people give. My son had a broken foot and casually threw out, “Yeah, I’d say about two.” A two? Your bone is in separate pieces! And then other people go full-out Brian Regan and throw out […]
Oct 8, 2019
Words can course-correct or crater-create. In a conflict, words can be tools to increase understanding and connection. Words can bring us back to the purpose and begin healing wounds. Words also damage, deflect and distract. Every been bewildered by someone’s reaction to your words? You may have created a crater with your words. How do […]
Oct 1, 2019
There’s always a story inside my head. And in yours. It’s how the brain makes sense of the information it receives. The narrative we create inside our heads colors every new input and shapes our communication. I once had a leader whose saccharine facade and passive-aggressive nature slowly created a toxic work environment and eroded […]
Sep 29, 2019
I pretend I can be all the things and do all the things with no stopping (except laundry. I don’t want to do ALL the things.) I behave as if I am infinite and omnipotent. And then my glass house shatters as soon as the stone of hangry gets tossed and the brick of six […]
Sep 29, 2019
So you see this, and I’m sure you have questions. For many of you, there is no context for Jenn in a chicken pool toy. So this is the crazy visual for my communication skill today. I like to call this “Hi, and here’s what’s coming.” Conversations have five parts: greeting, feedforward, business, feedback, and […]
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