Sep 24, 2019
I could not see the giant Schnucks shopping cart. Rolling down the interstate in the Odyssey, my 10yo keeps pointing, trying to help me see the 13-foot cart. “Mom, it’s taller than that truck. It’s going up the ramp. Look, there it is again.”I kept seeing the hill of exit and the flat side of […]
Sep 10, 2019
Today I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. When I have 468 to-do items and needs pulling me in all the directions, I start doing constructive things like researching Christmas presents for my second cousin or scouring the bottom of the crisper drawer. All tasks that really help me to meet my goal. (eye roll) I’ve just […]
Sep 4, 2019
Growth is a quirky cocktail of self-awareness, other perspectives, and some new moves. Everyone’s recipe is a little bit different, but these are the essentials. Self-awareness is understanding your personal culture, values, drives, patterns, and pitfalls. New moves are the way out of staying the same — we literally have to do differently to grow. […]
Sep 3, 2019
When I had four tiny humans aged six and under, I thought for sure I had puncture wounds from the pecking. Ten years later, it turns out, their beaks get bigger. (In all honesty, I love my teenagers and prefer this age to previous ones. But still…) In parenting, we keep coming back to basics—responsibilities. […]
Aug 27, 2019
Figuring out where your responsibility lies is the secret sauce to resolution. In typical conflict situations, two or more people have responsibility for the problem. I am responsible for myself — for my thoughts, feelings, limits, talents, and behaviors. When looking at problem-solving, I need to ask myself the hard questions: What is my contribution? […]
Aug 20, 2019
We spend a lot of waking hours with people at work. About three hours a week are spent in workplace conflict. I mean that’s almost half a day! That’s a lot of lost time and productivity. Not to mention a lack of peace in a place where we spend so much of our lives. Conflict […]
Aug 14, 2019
I had a couple big setbacks this week. They didn’t happen suddenly, but they crashed on the same day. One involved a client where I didn’t set clear expectations, so I didn’t meet theirs. Now I’ve lost a client. One involved my lack of follow-through, almost costing my child the first day of school. Don’t […]
Aug 5, 2019
I am impatient. I don’t want instant results, but I want the movie montage to get to the end. I want growth, grief, and conflict resolution to feel like the highlight reel. And that’s just the thing: I highlight reel implies a finishing. Here are snippets of all the work, conversations, practice, activities, waiting, and […]
Jul 26, 2019
In music and in conflict… Drilled into my head as a young musician in orchestras and choirs—the right note at the wrong time is the wrong note. 1-and 2-and 3-ee-and-ah 4 Usually with foot stomping and clapping. Definitely with arm waving. Ensemble playing is a team sport, and the precision of timing makes the difference […]
Jul 19, 2019
Either/or thinking brings false security. When we are deeply stressed, particularly in a conflict or when we feel unsafe, we burrow into a place where someone or something must be either fully friend or foe. This position limits us to one issue and two-dimensional living. It reduces the fullness of humanity and “weaponizes belonging,” says […]
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