What’s the story behind the story?

Just out of reach of my daughter’s 10-year-old arms is a huge snarl of hair on the back of her head. Like 90% of the time. And she doesn’t always even know it’s there.

Without extreme effort or some outside help, that rat’s nest never goes away.

We each have a story that has tangled itself into the inner dialogue of our minds. An old, old story that is from an old, old wound in our heart that has woven itself into the fabric of our souls.

And like the tangle on the back of my daughter’s hair, we don’t always know the story is there.

We accepted it as truth so long ago, we are painfully unaware how that story impacts our feelings, our thoughts, and our behaviors.

Each Enneagram number has a story, a childhood message we picked up somehow, that is at work behind the scenes in our lives. 

We each have a story that has tangled itself into the inner dialogue of our minds. An old, old story that is from an old, old wound in our heart that has woven itself into the fabric of our souls.

We need to untangle it. And to untangle that thread, we first have to know what it is.

Here are the messages for each Enneagram type.

Make a point to just observe, just notice, how this story might impact you this week. (If you don’t know your number, pick a story that feels a little too close to home and notice that one.)

Eights: It’s not okay to trust or be vulnerable with anyone.

Nines: It’s not okay to assert yourself or think much of yourself.

Ones: It is not okay to be wrong or make mistakes.

Twos:  It’s not okay to have needs of your own.

Threes: It’s not okay for you to have your own feelings and identity.

Fours:  It’s not okay to be too much and not enough.

Fives: It’s not okay to be too comfortable in the world.

Sixes:  It’s not okay to trust or depend on yourself.

Sevens: It’s not okay to depend on others for anything.

How does this message show up for you? Do you recognize the thread woven into your mind? In facing COVID, in your work, in parenting, in anti-racism work, in your relationships?

Write it down, jot a note in your phone, record a voice note. Just observe and record.

You can’t address something you don’t acknowledge is there.

What do you think right now?

Save this post. Come back and comment on your observations or email me.

Let’s untangle together.