Sometimes blindspots just keep surprising us. Kind friends show you behaviors that are problematic for you and others, yet you can’t seem to shake the patterns that creep up from time to time.

Or even worse, you get with your family around the holiday table, and you’re right back in childhood, poking your cousin because he took the bread heel you were going for. (I mean, not that I would know or anything…) You revert to a script that you thought you had outgrown.

Conflict just keeps happening because you keep playing out the same pattern. In some way you’re trying to get a need met, but what that need is hidden. So you’ve stepped onto a hamster wheel, blindfolded, thinking you’re going somewhere. If you don’t find out what you’re trying to get out of this hamster wheel, you’ll never get off.

Conflict just keeps happening because you keep playing out the same pattern.

How do you move past those patterns and scripts that float in the background of your heart and mind? Those hidden influences that your friends can’t see and you can’t either? How do you get unstuck?

Get a mirror and a coach to help you use it. 

Do you remember going to the salon? When you’re in the salon chair after your haircut, what does the stylist hand you? A mirror. And then you get spun around so you can use your tool to see the back of your fabulous new ‘do. Next to the shampooing and scalp massage (oh, I miss the salon), that’s my favorite part! It’s like a magical little time I get to see what I can never see.

Self-awareness tools are that second mirror. They help you see how what’s going on in the back connects to the rest of your life. Over the years, I’ve used a lot of self-awareness to support coaching and mentoring people. Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, DISC. The tool I’ve found the most helpful is the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a larger, and more compassionate, mirror that has led to more lasting growth and wholeness.

The second mirror I’ve found the most helpful is the Enneagram. 

Like the other tools, the Enneagram reveals behavior patterns and tendencies you can adjust to ease your way through conflict and communication. Yet the Enneagram helps you uncover the deeper motivations, what’s underneath those problematic patterns and scripts that trip you up. The Enneagram slows the hamster wheel long enough for you to step off.

The Enneagram works best with someone walking with you.

Unsure of where to begin? I’d love to help you. Go to jennwhitmer.com/enneagram to get your free booklet, Why Do I Keep Doing This?The Enneagram works best with someone walking with you. Someone helping you hold that mirror of the Enneagram. Schedule a free session with me to get started with Enneagram coaching.