Mar 22, 2020
We are in stress right now. All of us. It’s a rare moment in history where everyone on the planet is a state of communal stress. Our coping mechanisms change when we experience stress. We go to what’s easy, what’s simple, what requires the least amount of energy. We go for the path of least […]
Feb 9, 2020
No relationship escapes conflict. Anyone who tells you they have a conflict-free relationship is lying to you or themselves. Avoiding conflict does nothing to address the root issue. Neglecting conflict results in deeper and bigger conflicts. You cobble together a fake peace that slowly causes a war, either with the original person, another person, or […]
Feb 6, 2020
Reframing conflict is powerful—for good and for ill. The healthiest reframing is based in reality, not avoidance or denial. Imperfect people clashing over imperfect wants and needs provides many opportunities for the rain to fall, even when you’re looking for the silver lining Learning how you cope with conflict makes a difference in how wet […]
Feb 5, 2020
Conflict is here to stay, so peacemaking must become a permanent resident too. Imperfect people clashing over imperfect wants and needs provides many sparks for conflict. How you cope with the conflict makes the difference between a firecracker or a bomb. Today’s Enneagram conflict coping styles: Dynamites Fours, Sixes, and Eights This group shares similar […]
Feb 4, 2020
Conflict is everywhere. Even for those of you out there trying to avoid it, conflict is strewn across the path, tripping you up like laundry across a teenager’s room. (Ok, maybe just my teenagers’ rooms, but you get it?) Imperfect people clashing over imperfect wants and needs provides opportunities for conflict in every nook and […]
Jan 12, 2020
I destroyed her dream of chocolate fish. And it could have lit a conflict to last for days. Yet, it didn’t. All because I had my favorite conflict fire extinguisher: I refuse to have an interpersonal argument over text. Or over email, Slack, instant message, etc. And I especially don’t fight over text with my […]
Jan 6, 2020
People are endlessly fascinating, and I’ve always loved a good personality tool. Several years ago, a friend started talking about the Enneagram and Myers Briggs. I’d spent a lot of time studying MBTI, but virtually none into the Enneagram. So I poked around a little. I was like, ok, numbers and circles and ancient words […]
Dec 10, 2019
Few people love challenging conversations. I mean, there are those people who like the adrenaline rush, but I don’t know anyone who actually likes hard conversations.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Just a quick tip today: A difficult conversation that starts with at the right time is more likely to end in peace.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Two conditions to approach a […]
Dec 3, 2019
My week is crazy. Anyone else? (And a thousand hands go up). And next week ain’t looking any better. Deadlines out of my control. Clients changing goals. Studying routines to keep. Big decisions to make. Teenagers to parent. Oh, and it’s December… As you may have discovered in your life, when the margin is decreasing […]
Nov 27, 2019
Three cousins walk into a bar. An illustration. A fireball on ice, cucumber soda, silver martini, and sampler app ordered at the counter, the group finds a table with their silver table number in hand. After 20 minutes of laughing and talking, they notice their appetizer has not arrived. Silver Martini, with a wave of […]
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