Mar 30, 2020

The fire chief cut off my wedding ring yesterday. My finger had swelled just enough that I couldn’t get it off, a combination of a little jam several weeks ago, some excellent Mexican take-out, and messing with it to try to get it off with soap, oil, ice, and thread. So, why Sunday morning? What […]

Mar 1, 2020

Sometimes, I believe I am living in tomorrow. Sure, I don’t say it out loud, but I behave as if I am not constrained by time. As if the future and what could be is bolder and brighter than today and what actually is. Hi, Enneagram 7. Nice to meet you. 🤝 I’m not alone: […]

Feb 9, 2020

No relationship escapes conflict. Anyone who tells you they have a conflict-free relationship is lying to you or themselves. Avoiding conflict does nothing to address the root issue. Neglecting conflict results in deeper and bigger conflicts. You cobble together a fake peace that slowly causes a war, either with the original person, another person, or […]

Feb 6, 2020

In my deepest of hearts, if I learn something, I want to help you learn it too. It just bubbles out in excitement or pours out from pain. I really can’t get away from that calling. I don’t know how to be any other way. Also ever-present in my life: more-is-always-better!!! So let’s help more […]

Jan 12, 2020

I destroyed her dream of chocolate fish. And it could have lit a conflict to last for days. Yet, it didn’t. All because I had my favorite conflict fire extinguisher: I refuse to have an interpersonal argument over text. Or over email, Slack, instant message, etc. And I especially don’t fight over text with my […]

Dec 3, 2019

My week is crazy. Anyone else? (And a thousand hands go up). And next week ain’t looking any better. Deadlines out of my control. Clients changing goals. Studying routines to keep. Big decisions to make. Teenagers to parent. Oh, and it’s December… As you may have discovered in your life, when the margin is decreasing […]

Nov 19, 2019

We all deal with people. Unless you’re a hermit, which then you’re not reading this…so I’ll assume you’re dealing with people! Another opportunity to pay attention to what you pay attention to is how you deal with people in meeting your needs. (See the last post if you missed self-awareness, the Enneagram, and Centers of […]

Nov 12, 2019

Conflicts come up when my normal competes with your normal. Sure on the surface, it’s about meeting a deadline or leaving the office coffee pot empty. Underneath are expectations that come from our understanding of normal. Our personal culture—our perspectives, feelings, values, thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, actions—is our normal.  Our personal cultures are not right or […]

Nov 7, 2019

Everyone in the drama triangle is headed in the wrong direction. Here’s how this often goes down: Jane, the villain, does something that annoys Stan, the victim. Stan stews a little on his annoyance.  Stan talks to his co-worker Sylvia about Jane. Sylvia, the hero, goes to Jane and tells her to stop annoying Stan. […]

Nov 5, 2019

Communication is about creating shared meaning. When the same word holds different meanings, miscommunication always occurs. The dictionary definition is only the beginning of meaning. Nuance and context for words come from cultural influences, past experiences, and personal triggers. When people come together to work on a team, it is the role of the leader […]

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