Jun 21, 2020
“Be nice.” “Don’t make a fuss.” “You’re so bossy.” Ever heard any of these? Uh, yeah. Me, too. Our culture has pushed several limiting beliefs about confrontation—and mostly to women. The message—well, the lie really—is confrontation is mean, aggressive, and not nice. That lie has turned into quite the monster in our culture. Sharon Hodde […]
Jun 14, 2020
Living with unresolved conflict is like trying to tango with a toddler on your leg. Lights keep me awake. I mean, sure I can take a quick nap (boy, do I love naps). I can use a sleep mask, but it’s not quite the same. The kind of sustained rest required for flourishing—who am I […]
Jun 7, 2020
I help people live peaceful and whole lives by equipping them with communication and conflict resolution skills. And right now, that work is intense. Because justice and anti-racism work is personal AND systemic. And if you’re new to this work, it often feels completely overwhelming. I’ve found the Enneagram a useful tool in examining my […]
Jun 5, 2020
And it’s going to cost you. I want to have different words for you today. Words that comfort. Words that heal. Words that mend. Words that feel like a big hug. I just can’t get there. As I’ve written and deleted, written and deleted, written and deleted, I keep coming back to loving you with […]
May 25, 2020
Sometimes blindspots just keep surprising us. Kind friends show you behaviors that are problematic for you and others, yet you can’t seem to shake the patterns that creep up from time to time. Or even worse, you get with your family around the holiday table, and you’re right back in childhood, poking your cousin because […]
May 20, 2020
Working with people involves accountability. From the most experienced CEO to the newest teenage intern, we make commitments to one another. The best teams, families, and workplaces are mutually accountable to one another. The question isn’t so much “How do I hold people accountable?” It’s “How do I create a culture of commitment and mutual […]
May 15, 2020
No one alive has done this before. Remember Everyone is experiencing loss. Remember Everyone is figuring this out as we go along. Remember Lower your expectations of yourself. Remember Grief is not linear. Remember Culture shock is not linear. Remember Growth is not linear. Remember It’s ok to laugh. Remember Take the next step. Remember […]
May 13, 2020
Clutching the phone, my thumb hit call before my nerve evaporated. This conversation would be challenging and vulnerable. My palms were sweaty, & I was scared. My brain knows conflict is an opportunity for growth and connection. My emotions, however, hear air raid sirens.🚨🚨 I don’t dive headlong into conflict. I overlook and move past […]
Apr 19, 2020
We’re really in this for a while. When we return, life will be different. Schools online. Work is online. No games, concerts, recitals, church, hangouts. I just want to curl in bed and escape into Derry Girls, or I’m motivated to clean all the things. I am losing my mind with my family, or I’m […]
Apr 9, 2020
It’s a whole lot right now. The swirling tasks, people, worries, shoulds, and oughts. There is just not enough mental and emotional bandwidth to do all. the. things. Yet, that doesn’t take away this lingering feeling that I need some permission. I mean, I don’t know from whom or what, but permission all the same. […]
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