In music and in conflict… Drilled into my head as a young musician in orchestras and choirs—the right note at the wrong time is the wrong note. 1-and 2-and 3-ee-and-ah 4 Usually with foot stomping and clapping. Definitely with arm waving. Ensemble playing is a team sport, and the precision of timing makes the difference […]

Either/or thinking brings false security. When we are deeply stressed, particularly in a conflict or when we feel unsafe, we burrow into a place where someone or something must be either fully friend or foe. This position limits us to one issue and two-dimensional living. It reduces the fullness of humanity and “weaponizes belonging,” says […]

Death arrested our family last week. As the reality of mortality does so well, the extraneous falls away. The distilled essence of what matters becomes clear. This dear one, who would lie in the road for me even before I married her nephew, was a spitfire of a woman. She fought hard and loved harder. […]

The tale as old as time: as long as there have been competing interests, there has been conflict. When the desires—neutral, evil, righteous, imperfect, or just—of a person or a group challenge those of another person or group, the result of that competition is a conflict.  Part one of this series connected our lack of […]

Your slant is your perspective. Everyone has a perspective. Perspective is shaped by personality, motivations, experiences, physicality, attention, and more. We all have implicit bias which influences perspective. I experience the world as a short, white woman from the Midwest, as an enneagram 7 and ENxP who has a lot of travel and education, as […]