Jan 6, 2020
People are endlessly fascinating, and I’ve always loved a good personality tool. Several years ago, a friend started talking about the Enneagram and Myers Briggs. I’d spent a lot of time studying MBTI, but virtually none into the Enneagram. So I poked around a little. I was like, ok, numbers and circles and ancient words […]
Dec 10, 2019
Few people love challenging conversations. I mean, there are those people who like the adrenaline rush, but I don’t know anyone who actually likes hard conversations.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Just a quick tip today: A difficult conversation that starts with at the right time is more likely to end in peace.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Two conditions to approach a […]
Dec 3, 2019
My week is crazy. Anyone else? (And a thousand hands go up). And next week ain’t looking any better. Deadlines out of my control. Clients changing goals. Studying routines to keep. Big decisions to make. Teenagers to parent. Oh, and it’s December… As you may have discovered in your life, when the margin is decreasing […]
Nov 27, 2019
Three cousins walk into a bar. An illustration. A fireball on ice, cucumber soda, silver martini, and sampler app ordered at the counter, the group finds a table with their silver table number in hand. After 20 minutes of laughing and talking, they notice their appetizer has not arrived. Silver Martini, with a wave of […]
Nov 24, 2019
Expectations kinda rule our lives. How we expect to relate to people or circumstances, how we feel about those expectations, and what we do to get our needs met. Google managing expectations, and you’ll find millions of words on the topic. (So, naturally, here are a few more!) Managing expectations, how we relate to people […]
Nov 17, 2019
Our heart longs for peace, and conflict or struggle is always involved in getting to that peace. We each have a basic response to emotional struggle, one we deal with over and over. That response is deep within us—we aren’t always aware we’re responding in a patterned way. We can easily be blind to what’s […]
Nov 12, 2019
Conflicts come up when my normal competes with your normal. Sure on the surface, it’s about meeting a deadline or leaving the office coffee pot empty. Underneath are expectations that come from our understanding of normal. Our personal culture—our perspectives, feelings, values, thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, actions—is our normal. Our personal cultures are not right or […]
Nov 7, 2019
Everyone in the drama triangle is headed in the wrong direction. Here’s how this often goes down: Jane, the villain, does something that annoys Stan, the victim. Stan stews a little on his annoyance. Stan talks to his co-worker Sylvia about Jane. Sylvia, the hero, goes to Jane and tells her to stop annoying Stan. […]
Nov 5, 2019
Communication is about creating shared meaning. When the same word holds different meanings, miscommunication always occurs. The dictionary definition is only the beginning of meaning. Nuance and context for words come from cultural influences, past experiences, and personal triggers. When people come together to work on a team, it is the role of the leader […]
Nov 3, 2019
Sometimes blindspots just keep surprising us. Kind friends show you behaviors that are problematic for you and others, yet you can’t seem to shake the patterns that creep up from time to time. Or even worse, you get with your family around the holiday table, and you’re right back in childhood, poking your cousin because […]
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