Three cousins walk into a bar. An illustration. A fireball on ice, cucumber soda, silver martini, and sampler app ordered at the counter, the group finds a table with their silver table number in hand. After 20 minutes of laughing and talking, they notice their appetizer has not arrived. Silver Martini, with a wave of […]
Expectations kinda rule our lives. How we expect to relate to people or circumstances, how we feel about those expectations, and what we do to get our needs met. Google managing expectations, and you’ll find millions of words on the topic. (So, naturally, here are a few more!) Managing expectations, how we relate to people […]
We all deal with people. Unless you’re a hermit, which then you’re not reading this…so I’ll assume you’re dealing with people! Another opportunity to pay attention to what you pay attention to is how you deal with people in meeting your needs. (See the last post if you missed self-awareness, the Enneagram, and Centers of […]
Our heart longs for peace, and conflict or struggle is always involved in getting to that peace. We each have a basic response to emotional struggle, one we deal with over and over. That response is deep within us—we aren’t always aware we’re responding in a patterned way. We can easily be blind to what’s […]
Conflicts come up when my normal competes with your normal. Sure on the surface, it’s about meeting a deadline or leaving the office coffee pot empty. Underneath are expectations that come from our understanding of normal. Our personal culture—our perspectives, feelings, values, thoughts, beliefs, interpretations, actions—is our normal. Our personal cultures are not right or […]
Communication is about creating shared meaning. When the same word holds different meanings, miscommunication always occurs. The dictionary definition is only the beginning of meaning. Nuance and context for words come from cultural influences, past experiences, and personal triggers. When people come together to work on a team, it is the role of the leader […]
Sometimes blindspots just keep surprising us. Kind friends show you behaviors that are problematic for you and others, yet you can’t seem to shake the patterns that creep up from time to time. Or even worse, you get with your family around the holiday table, and you’re right back in childhood, poking your cousin because […]
Y’all this is a thing. We rarely see the hours of rehearsal, the days of study, the crumpled papers in the bin, the erased equations, the failed experiment, the burnt roast, the missed communication, the lackluster meeting. We see the book, the Ted Talk, the election, the promotion press release, the graduation, the lovely supper, […]
I read a stunning — and harmful — non-apology this weekend. A public figure had a public exchange with another public figure. A devastating lack of respect characterized the entire thread. Two days later, one person offered a new attack poorly disguised as an apology. Not surprisingly, the Greek chorus of those who witnessed the […]
Conflict is unavoidable. You might think you can just shuffle-ball-change around it, but you will only tap dance yourself to another side of the same stage. Our solution to the inevitable times of conflict is gaining skills to manage through difficult situations. Leaders learn to use that situation as an opportunity to build trust, strengthen […]
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