Apr 14, 2020

When It’s Hard to Just Do It

The past is cozy. It’s hard to fear the past. There are no to-do lists. There are no people to deal with. No energy to expend.  It can lull us into a comfortable melancholy of what was, & we withdraw from the world.

Each of us has moments when people are just too much. The Withdrawing Stance—Fours, Fives, & Nines—find themselves running a disappearing act more than most.

We all have thinking, doing, and feeling types of intelligence. Dependent stance folks use a  lot of thinking & feeling to make their way in the world. While there is activity and movement, there is little fruitful doing.

In  Enneagram wisdom, this is a repressed center. We don’t like to admit it, but doing that gets stuff done isn’t a forte of this group. And in  U.S. culture, it’s a lot harder to get away with than repressing feeling or thinking.

Fours, Fives, & Nines are incredibly deep and creative people. They’re often famous for mic drop moments. Because they’ve been observing and waiting for the moment to share their wisdom and beauty with us. 

Yet unbalanced centers of intelligence lead them to feel like they must gather up their energy to deal with people, life, &  the world in general. What needs to be done often floats away. 

And I can’t highlight this enough: in Western culture, particularly in the  U.S., a tremendous amount of scorn accompanies getting caught in unproductive doing. Although withdrawing stance folks do need to work at connecting with their body and doing to balance themselves, we can learn so much from their natural pace.

Fours, Fives, &  Nines, discipline yourself to:

*Tell yourself you have all you need to do life. 

*Stay present. Your needs & presence matter.

*Create routines & rhythms for your life to care for your needs such as sleep, activity, & food.

*It’s likely you won’t ever feel ready to do any of these. Do them anyway.

I know that blanket is cozy; that footnote thread, fascinating; that Pinterest board, beautiful. And you don’t feel like it’s time just quite yet to move. But we need you & your gifts living here, at this time. And more importantly, your life needs you. Don’t Houdini on us.

Fours, Fives, & Nines out there? Is this problematic for you? How do you make your doing productive?Want to talk some more? Schedule a free time with me to explore Enneagram coaching!



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