Sep 22, 2019
Leadership isn’t taking charge, getting things done, or signing the checks. Leadership is serving and influencing others. I’ve had this weird thing about permission. Maybe it’s military parents or years in teaching, but I felt like I could only help other people so much or live only so far into my dreams before a person […]
Sep 10, 2019
Today I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. When I have 468 to-do items and needs pulling me in all the directions, I start doing constructive things like researching Christmas presents for my second cousin or scouring the bottom of the crisper drawer. All tasks that really help me to meet my goal. (eye roll) I’ve just […]
Sep 4, 2019
Growth is a quirky cocktail of self-awareness, other perspectives, and some new moves. Everyone’s recipe is a little bit different, but these are the essentials. Self-awareness is understanding your personal culture, values, drives, patterns, and pitfalls. New moves are the way out of staying the same — we literally have to do differently to grow. […]
Aug 27, 2019
Figuring out where your responsibility lies is the secret sauce to resolution. In typical conflict situations, two or more people have responsibility for the problem. I am responsible for myself — for my thoughts, feelings, limits, talents, and behaviors. When looking at problem-solving, I need to ask myself the hard questions: What is my contribution? […]
Aug 20, 2019
We spend a lot of waking hours with people at work. About three hours a week are spent in workplace conflict. I mean that’s almost half a day! That’s a lot of lost time and productivity. Not to mention a lack of peace in a place where we spend so much of our lives. Conflict […]
Aug 14, 2019
I had a couple big setbacks this week. They didn’t happen suddenly, but they crashed on the same day. One involved a client where I didn’t set clear expectations, so I didn’t meet theirs. Now I’ve lost a client. One involved my lack of follow-through, almost costing my child the first day of school. Don’t […]
Aug 5, 2019
I am impatient. I don’t want instant results, but I want the movie montage to get to the end. I want growth, grief, and conflict resolution to feel like the highlight reel. And that’s just the thing: I highlight reel implies a finishing. Here are snippets of all the work, conversations, practice, activities, waiting, and […]
Jul 26, 2019
In music and in conflict… Drilled into my head as a young musician in orchestras and choirs—the right note at the wrong time is the wrong note. 1-and 2-and 3-ee-and-ah 4 Usually with foot stomping and clapping. Definitely with arm waving. Ensemble playing is a team sport, and the precision of timing makes the difference […]
Jul 22, 2019
The whispers have become shouts this week. rest, Rest, REST! It seemed from every corner, someone was calling me, encouraging me to rest. And the truth is, I’m bad at resting. I’m like the toddler who just keeps spinning in a circle to keep from falling asleep. I’m excellent at getting a ton of things […]
Jul 19, 2019
Either/or thinking brings false security. When we are deeply stressed, particularly in a conflict or when we feel unsafe, we burrow into a place where someone or something must be either fully friend or foe. This position limits us to one issue and two-dimensional living. It reduces the fullness of humanity and “weaponizes belonging,” says […]
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