Nov 3, 2019
Sometimes blindspots just keep surprising us. Kind friends show you behaviors that are problematic for you and others, yet you can’t seem to shake the patterns that creep up from time to time. Or even worse, you get with your family around the holiday table, and you’re right back in childhood, poking your cousin because […]
Oct 29, 2019
Many of us—especially women—have learned some limiting beliefs about confrontation. The lie is that confrontation is mean, aggressive, and not nice. That lie has turned into quite the monster in our culture. Sharon Hodde Miller, in her book Nice, records Dr. Christina Edmonson saying, “We are wooed by superficial niceness.” That superficial niceness limits our […]
Oct 23, 2019
Peacefaking doesn’t resolve a conflict. Imperfect people, all seeing the world differently, try to make their way in the world together…well, conflict happens. Some of you see conflict coming, and you are Audi 5000. Some of you are just as conflict-avoidant, and you may say: “Oh, I never fight with people.” “I just turn the […]
Oct 22, 2019
I read a stunning — and harmful — non-apology this weekend. A public figure had a public exchange with another public figure. A devastating lack of respect characterized the entire thread. Two days later, one person offered a new attack poorly disguised as an apology. Not surprisingly, the Greek chorus of those who witnessed the […]
Oct 15, 2019
Conflict is unavoidable. You might think you can just shuffle-ball-change around it, but you will only tap dance yourself to another side of the same stage. Our solution to the inevitable times of conflict is gaining skills to manage through difficult situations. Leaders learn to use that situation as an opportunity to build trust, strengthen […]
Oct 13, 2019
Have you ever experienced a nurse asking, “How would you rate your pain?” I’m always fascinated by the answers people give. My son had a broken foot and casually threw out, “Yeah, I’d say about two.” A two? Your bone is in separate pieces! And then other people go full-out Brian Regan and throw out […]
Oct 8, 2019
Words can course-correct or crater-create. In a conflict, words can be tools to increase understanding and connection. Words can bring us back to the purpose and begin healing wounds. Words also damage, deflect and distract. Every been bewildered by someone’s reaction to your words? You may have created a crater with your words. How do […]
Oct 2, 2019
Top frustrating reality of life: In becoming better, we don’t follow a straight upward curve. We don’t dance our way from success to success without tripping on our hem. Sometimes you can smile and laugh through it. Other times you slip ‘n’ slide down the stage with an audience of 1000 people. And sometimes that’s […]
Oct 1, 2019
There’s always a story inside my head. And in yours. It’s how the brain makes sense of the information it receives. The narrative we create inside our heads colors every new input and shapes our communication. I once had a leader whose saccharine facade and passive-aggressive nature slowly created a toxic work environment and eroded […]
Oct 1, 2019
Unique, one-of-a-kind, individual. We like to think there is none like us. Although in some aspects that is true, it’s also true we fall into patterns and types that have been around since people were laughing at Noah building an ark. Patterns are helpful. Patterns show others have been on the path before me. They […]
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