Jun 29, 2020
In stress, difficulty, conflict, each Enneagram type follows what I call intuitive moves. Some teachers call them lines and arrows or stress and growth. The moves of integration and disintegration are intuitive. We naturally go these ways when we need something and can’t get it with our typical patterns. It’s you, but on a bad […]
Jun 21, 2020
“Be nice.” “Don’t make a fuss.” “You’re so bossy.” Ever heard any of these? Uh, yeah. Me, too. Our culture has pushed several limiting beliefs about confrontation—and mostly to women. The message—well, the lie really—is confrontation is mean, aggressive, and not nice. That lie has turned into quite the monster in our culture. Sharon Hodde […]
Jun 20, 2020
What’s the story behind the story? Just out of reach of my daughter’s 10-year-old arms is a huge snarl of hair on the back of her head. Like 90% of the time. And she doesn’t always even know it’s there. Without extreme effort or some outside help, that rat’s nest never goes away. We each […]
Jun 7, 2020
I help people live peaceful and whole lives by equipping them with communication and conflict resolution skills. And right now, that work is intense. Because justice and anti-racism work is personal AND systemic. And if you’re new to this work, it often feels completely overwhelming. I’ve found the Enneagram a useful tool in examining my […]
Jun 5, 2020
And it’s going to cost you. I want to have different words for you today. Words that comfort. Words that heal. Words that mend. Words that feel like a big hug. I just can’t get there. As I’ve written and deleted, written and deleted, written and deleted, I keep coming back to loving you with […]
May 25, 2020
Sometimes blindspots just keep surprising us. Kind friends show you behaviors that are problematic for you and others, yet you can’t seem to shake the patterns that creep up from time to time. Or even worse, you get with your family around the holiday table, and you’re right back in childhood, poking your cousin because […]
May 15, 2020
No one alive has done this before. Remember Everyone is experiencing loss. Remember Everyone is figuring this out as we go along. Remember Lower your expectations of yourself. Remember Grief is not linear. Remember Culture shock is not linear. Remember Growth is not linear. Remember It’s ok to laugh. Remember Take the next step. Remember […]
May 13, 2020
Excitement and anxiety tangle as we begin to face emerging from the safety of our homes. Questions from our dinner conversations: “Do you think it will be the same?” “When do you think it will be the same?” “When will I be able to see my friends?” “When will we be able to have people […]
Apr 19, 2020
We’re really in this for a while. When we return, life will be different. Schools online. Work is online. No games, concerts, recitals, church, hangouts. I just want to curl in bed and escape into Derry Girls, or I’m motivated to clean all the things. I am losing my mind with my family, or I’m […]
Apr 14, 2020
The past is cozy. It’s hard to fear the past. There are no to-do lists. There are no people to deal with. No energy to expend. It can lull us into a comfortable melancholy of what was, & we withdraw from the world. Each of us has moments when people are just too much. The […]
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