Jan 6, 2024

Community or Solo? Be the Most Effective Leader

I open the glass door, and my son’s voice is the first thing I hear. Mind you: the glass door leads to the community center gym…not my house.

I mean, so loud for 6:30 am. (Also, there’s a bit of an apple not far from the tree situation here 🙋🏽‍♀️) Do you do this? Recognize your kid’s voice in a din of noise?

Anyway…so I go up the stairs, and he and his friend Thomas are doing intervals on the bikes.

I paused by the lockers for a moment and smiled to myself. I love that they’re doing this together.

And it got me thinking about how we support each other and what community really looks like.

See, Thomas goes to school on the East Coast and has training at 6 am when he goes back to college in two weeks. So he’s preparing for what he wants next. But here’s the thing…my son Stuart doesn’t have soccer training in the morning back on campus. His team trains in the afternoon.

I asked my son Stuart if his team was training in the morning for the spring season. “No, soccer and ultimate are in the afternoon. But Thomas does, so we’re doing it together.”

Two college guys in community, doing hard things together.

I feel like leadership is lonely sometimes. Especially for women. We’re running the village without the actual support of the village.

And I know for me, when I’ve gotten into those lonely places…

I don’t make the wisest choices.
I drift off or burn out to get to the finish line.
I feel like I’m the only one that this happens to 

But the solution is not to try harder or find a hack.
It’s get people around you who can help.

Community has been THE game changer for my career, my success, and my wholeness.

And, community is one of the reasons I wanted to create the Joyosity Retreat. I’m cultivating that space for community. So you have people around you to do it together.

See, those guys were doing like 30-second, all-out intervals with 10 seconds in between. (And I was like, that is NOT what I want to do.)

And I don’t know if they wanted to do it either, but because they were doing it together, the benefits were greater.

The solution is not to try harder or find a hack.
It’s get people around you who can help.

They did the hard thing and are achieving greater results because they’re doing it together.

So, I’m just kind of curious… do you have that community around you?

Women in community. Joy and laughter.

Because, I know for myself and my journey and my clients, community is part of the transformation game.

When I have the people around me, 
I don’t feel crazy because I’m the only one this happens to, I’m like, oh, this is a common experience. Other leaders have made it through this, so I can do it too. (This is part of self-efficacy that’s called vicarious experience. A key part of the skill of confidence.)

When I’m not alone in the journey, when I have community:
I make better decisions.
I’m more effective.
I feel that warm sense in my belly, a deep sigh, and relaxed muscles.

It doesn’t change the fact that life as a leader is hard. Those 30-second intervals were still hard for those guys.
“But, Mom, It just goes so much better when we’re doing it together.”

Community is part of the transformation game.

So I’d love to know:
Do you have the people that bring that kind of clarity?
Bring the cheerleader energy?
The ones that actually make the 30-second intervals better?

Do you have a community around you? How do you create that?



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