Clutching the phone, my thumb hit call before my nerve evaporated. This conversation would be challenging and vulnerable. My palms were sweaty, & I was scared. My brain knows conflict is an opportunity for growth and connection. My emotions, however, hear air raid sirens.🚨🚨 I don’t dive headlong into conflict. I overlook and move past […]
Assumicide attacked our home this weekend. Casualties were great. In my pale celery green kitchen, my hands full scooping out eggs for brunch, my oldest man-child loomed in the doorway and kindly called me on an assumption. Ouch. See, the day before, Michael, I and this same 17-year-old, had a similar conversation in the very […]
I mean, aren’t we in the midst of tiny squabbles and pointed sighs? Little bickerings and a few quarrels? Who took my book? I thought you were going to charge the computer? It’s my turn on the Wii! Why does she leave her cup out all the time? Ugh, you’re always late for our Slack […]
It’s hard to be sandpaper. I easily rub people the wrong way and knock off little bits they were rather fond of. The worst is when I don’t even know my grit is injuring someone else. The Assertive Stance of the Enneagram—Threes, Sevens, & Eights—often find themselves in this place of chafing against others or […]
We are in stress right now. All of us. It’s a rare moment in history where everyone on the planet is a state of communal stress. Our coping mechanisms change when we experience stress. We go to what’s easy, what’s simple, what requires the least amount of energy. We go for the path of least […]
No relationship escapes conflict. Anyone who tells you they have a conflict-free relationship is lying to you or themselves. Avoiding conflict does nothing to address the root issue. Neglecting conflict results in deeper and bigger conflicts. You cobble together a fake peace that slowly causes a war, either with the original person, another person, or […]
Reframing conflict is powerful—for good and for ill. The healthiest reframing is based in reality, not avoidance or denial. Imperfect people clashing over imperfect wants and needs provides many opportunities for the rain to fall, even when you’re looking for the silver lining Learning how you cope with conflict makes a difference in how wet […]
Conflict is here to stay, so peacemaking must become a permanent resident too. Imperfect people clashing over imperfect wants and needs provides many sparks for conflict. How you cope with the conflict makes the difference between a firecracker or a bomb. Today’s Enneagram conflict coping styles: Dynamites Fours, Sixes, and Eights This group shares similar […]
Conflict is everywhere. Even for those of you out there trying to avoid it, conflict is strewn across the path, tripping you up like laundry across a teenager’s room. (Ok, maybe just my teenagers’ rooms, but you get it?) Imperfect people clashing over imperfect wants and needs provides opportunities for conflict in every nook and […]
I destroyed her dream of chocolate fish. And it could have lit a conflict to last for days. Yet, it didn’t. All because I had my favorite conflict fire extinguisher: I refuse to have an interpersonal argument over text. Or over email, Slack, instant message, etc. And I especially don’t fight over text with my […]
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